The End...for now!

This last year has been a very busy year foster care wise.  I began my classes in January and was so ready to be a foster parent.  I got licensed with my agency officially in March but in reality, it didn't actually happen till the end of April.  Then I found out my agency doesn't get babies, at all!!!  They only get teenagers and someone must have forgotten to mention that when I started my process (insert sarcasm here).

I was so frustrated and even angry when I found out that I had wasted over six months on this agency for nothing.  All of the time and money I spent to get licensed was for nothing.  When I asked the agency, they continued to tell me they get babies, sometimes...but then the placement coordinator told me that she hasn't had a single baby this year and she told me herself that they do not get babies.  It was then that I decided to switch over to the city foster agency.

I went through the process of getting licensed with them.  I had to take two of the PRIDE classes again because they thought it would be good for me to have more trauma experience.  I didn't mind and actually agreed that it would be better to get some extra training in regards to trauma.  I decided to change my age group and gender once I went with the city.  I decided I would take newborn to two year old children and if there was an older brother up to the age of seven, I was going to put that sibling in the room with my seven year old.

As you all know that have been reading and following my blog, I had bought everything needed for a foster child.  My home was ready and our hearts were ready.  I did need to buy a new bed for my sons room but for now I had a trundle bed under his that was good enough till I got a bed for a foster child in his room.

After going through the process with the city for almost four months, I got the call I was waiting for on Halloween at about 5:30 pm.  I had been approved as a respite and emergency provider only due to my student loans.  Because my income is not guaranteed, they couldn't approve me as a full time foster parent.  I was so disappointed but decided that I could be a respite and emergency provider until I was able to prove myself (according to the agency).

I was trying to get used to the idea that this was worth it and respite providers are needed and so important to the process, etc. etc. etc. Then, about a week after my first call letting me know I was not approved as a full time foster parent, I got the call that broke my heart.  The supervisor had gone to the state to talk to them about my case and they decided that I was too high of a risk and they were not willing to license me at all.  I was not even able to be a respite provider, my foster care journey while I was in school and receiving school loans was over.

I was so broken hearted!!!  One year (almost to the day) of starting my journey and I had been shot down and denied.  They told me there was nothing other than my school loans stopping me and when I finished school and started working to give them a call.  The only disappointing thing about that is, when I start working I can't take infants.  I can not have a child under the age of 18 months if I am not a stay at home mom.

I graduate from school on May 8, 2015 and I have decided not to pursue my Masters degree full time (I had planned on it if I would have become a foster parent because it would have allowed me at least two more years at home).  Now I am going to get a job and take a little break from school to be able to start our new life as a single working mom of three.  My oldest has moved out of the house and it is only the three of us left here with plenty of space for a little one but for now, that is on hold too.  I might try going through a different city to get licensed as a working parent and see if they allow me to have infants, but that wont be until I am stable in a new job and maybe even have a different home.

For now though, this journey has come to an end and all of the baby stuff has been removed from my home and put in storage or given away.  It breaks my heart but it just wasn't meant to be. This is The End....for now!