Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Waiting game

I feel like it's been forever since I posted, but it was just last month! So much has happened and so much has changed since then.

First, I have finished my PRIDE training and all three of my home visits. All of my background paperwork, fingerprints, etc has been turned in and is back with no issues.  The last home visit was this past Monday and that is when the social worker came to meet my sons and it went really well. I am so comfortable with this office and all of the social workers that I have been involved with and I love that! I was a nervous wreck before and was always on edge before home visits and this time I have been totally chill. I even told him the second time that I didn't have time to clean for him and he was just going to have to accept us for who we are and he laughed and said his house is a whole lot worse than mine is.  Feels good to be on that comfort level because I know it is not realistic that my house is always perfect and spotless.

When I started the process to becoming a foster parent, I only wanted baby girls between the ages of newborn and 2 years old. This time we will be licensed for up to three children between the ages of newborn and nine years old. We prefer to only take in two children but are willing to take a third if it is a sibling group or if one of the bios has a baby while we have her other child/children in our home. The only way we will take an older child (school aged) is if the child is a boy (to share a room with my bio son) and it has to be a pretty significant need since we are not in the same city as the social services office and they do not like to move children that are already in school to a different city.

For the last part, I accepted a new job.  I will still be working as a Realtor but I also accepted a position that is a work from home Mon-Fri 9-5. This way I have more flexibility and I have a steady income for those slow months that occur mostly around the winter months (like right now).  Taking on this new positions allows me to take newborns without having to worry about daycare for the first six weeks as I will be able to have the baby here at home with me. I will be putting my fosters in daycare after the six week mark because I do have to work obviously but this allows for a whole lot more flexibility if one of the children is sick or has appointments (new job is really great about allowing for time off for appointments).

I am really excited to get started and according to the social worker, I should be licensed in January unless a situation comes up where I would be the perfect fit for a foster or fosters. If that is the case, they will rush my license to get the child/children placed immediately.

Wish me luck!!

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow!!

Tuesday, October 4, 2016

Here we go again

This past week I went to an orientation with a co-worker for a foster agency in our area.  I have been to an orientation with this agency before due to the baby girl I had last summer. Her sisters were placed with the same agency and when she was born, she was placed with the same foster mamma. I went to the orientation with the agency at that time knowing the baby was placed with them and when I got custody of her, I decided not to move forward with getting licensed with them.

The reason why I went to the orientation last week was because one of the girls I work with wants to be a foster parent too and she ha signed up to go to the orientation. I told her I would go with her to this orientation if she was willing to go with me to my orientation next week. She happily agreed knowing she didn't have to go alone. It became clear very quickly that this agency is not for us because they do not get children in the age groups we are looking for. I want to get babies and my co-worker is wanting children under the age of three years old.

I am really excited about going into this with a co-worker who has become a friend. I had no idea she was wanting to get into fostering and this makes going to PRIDE classes so much more exciting knowing I am not going to be alone! We have talked about being back ups for each other and her daughter is going to be my second back up because she lives in the next street over from me and is a stay at home mom.

I am beyond excited to get started with PRIDE classes and getting my license again. The classes will be done by the beginning of November and that means I have less than a month to get the nursery ready to go.  My little sister is coming to visit me this week and maybe, just maybe, I can get her to help me put the nursery together.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Guess who's back?

Mamma's back!! 

I haven't posted on here in a really long time, so I thought it was time to give a little bit of an update.

Let's start with summer of 2015.....yes, 2015!

My oldest son is going to be turning 20 next year and of course has friends that are just as grown if not a little bit older.  June 2015 one of the guys he knows came to him and told him that social services took custody of his newborn baby at the hospital. Come to find out, the mom had two other children that were taken from her and for this reason, this little baby was not allowed to go home with her either. Dad had to do a DNA test and social services wanted to do some background checks on dad and his parents (dad lived with his parents). Until that was all competed, the baby would stay in foster care with her two older sisters. My son told dad about me and my desire to be a foster parent and told dad to come talk to me to find out what I can do to help.



Long story short, I ended up with custody of this beautiful little girl when she was 3 weeks old and I had her until she was 8 weeks old and went on to be with her new adoptive family (the uncle and his wife ended up agreeing to adopt her). My five weeks with this little beautiful girl made me realize just how much I want to be a foster parent.  I loved her something fierce and never in a million years thought I could love someone else's baby the way that I loved her. It hurt to my very core when she left to move to her new adoptive home and I cried like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and taken to someone else's house.  But.....as much as it hurt, she is in a good place and when I saw her a few weeks later, I could see how much her family loved her and she was happy there. I knew I had made the right move by being there for her during those five weeks of her life when she needed me. I needed her just as much as she needed me.

Now, on to the next part of my journey....

I graduated from college in May 2015 and finished my very last course just around the same time that little mamma came to live with me. I started my career in March of 2015 and have a stable good life. I decided to move to a bigger and better place and am now living in a house with an extra bedroom, the bedroom we refer to as the nursery.  I plan to set up the nursery with two cribs and am open to taking in one or two babies.  

Tonight I am going to an orientation for the city next to mine and in September I will be going to the orientation for another city on the other side of mine. I have decided that I do not want to be licensed in my city because they are not supportive of single parents and do not allow babies under the age of 18 months to be placed with single parents. I want to have infants and that is not going to work if I decide to stick with my city.  I have decided to check out the orientations to a few different cities (I live in an area that has 7 cities all really close together and within a 30 min drive I can get to any of these cities) and see which city best suits my needs. I want to be able to find the agency that offers the best support and the agency that is supportive of single parents and don't use that against me.  

I am really excited to start my journey all over again and looking forward sharing the journey with all of you. 

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

The End...for now!

This last year has been a very busy year foster care wise.  I began my classes in January and was so ready to be a foster parent.  I got licensed with my agency officially in March but in reality, it didn't actually happen till the end of April.  Then I found out my agency doesn't get babies, at all!!!  They only get teenagers and someone must have forgotten to mention that when I started my process (insert sarcasm here).

I was so frustrated and even angry when I found out that I had wasted over six months on this agency for nothing.  All of the time and money I spent to get licensed was for nothing.  When I asked the agency, they continued to tell me they get babies, sometimes...but then the placement coordinator told me that she hasn't had a single baby this year and she told me herself that they do not get babies.  It was then that I decided to switch over to the city foster agency.

I went through the process of getting licensed with them.  I had to take two of the PRIDE classes again because they thought it would be good for me to have more trauma experience.  I didn't mind and actually agreed that it would be better to get some extra training in regards to trauma.  I decided to change my age group and gender once I went with the city.  I decided I would take newborn to two year old children and if there was an older brother up to the age of seven, I was going to put that sibling in the room with my seven year old.

As you all know that have been reading and following my blog, I had bought everything needed for a foster child.  My home was ready and our hearts were ready.  I did need to buy a new bed for my sons room but for now I had a trundle bed under his that was good enough till I got a bed for a foster child in his room.

After going through the process with the city for almost four months, I got the call I was waiting for on Halloween at about 5:30 pm.  I had been approved as a respite and emergency provider only due to my student loans.  Because my income is not guaranteed, they couldn't approve me as a full time foster parent.  I was so disappointed but decided that I could be a respite and emergency provider until I was able to prove myself (according to the agency).

I was trying to get used to the idea that this was worth it and respite providers are needed and so important to the process, etc. etc. etc. Then, about a week after my first call letting me know I was not approved as a full time foster parent, I got the call that broke my heart.  The supervisor had gone to the state to talk to them about my case and they decided that I was too high of a risk and they were not willing to license me at all.  I was not even able to be a respite provider, my foster care journey while I was in school and receiving school loans was over.

I was so broken hearted!!!  One year (almost to the day) of starting my journey and I had been shot down and denied.  They told me there was nothing other than my school loans stopping me and when I finished school and started working to give them a call.  The only disappointing thing about that is, when I start working I can't take infants.  I can not have a child under the age of 18 months if I am not a stay at home mom.

I graduate from school on May 8, 2015 and I have decided not to pursue my Masters degree full time (I had planned on it if I would have become a foster parent because it would have allowed me at least two more years at home).  Now I am going to get a job and take a little break from school to be able to start our new life as a single working mom of three.  My oldest has moved out of the house and it is only the three of us left here with plenty of space for a little one but for now, that is on hold too.  I might try going through a different city to get licensed as a working parent and see if they allow me to have infants, but that wont be until I am stable in a new job and maybe even have a different home.

For now though, this journey has come to an end and all of the baby stuff has been removed from my home and put in storage or given away.  It breaks my heart but it just wasn't meant to be. This is The End....for now!

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

The Call

I have been licensed now for over two months and have been waiting on my first call. Every time the phone rings and I don't recognize the number, my heart skips a beat thinking this is it....of course it hasn't been it any of those times. I have had this feeling for the last two days like there is a call coming and when my house phone just rang, my heart again skipped a beat. Then the caller id said it was my agency and I held my breath and had to calm myself down thinking....oh wow, this really is it!!!


I answered the phone all calm and collected and the lady on the other end was so pleasant and nice. Then she asked me if I was going to be attending the training next weekend? Ugh the disappointment that I just experienced. I know that my time will come when the time is right and I know that not getting a call is a good thing because it means that there are no babies needing to be taken from their parents. But I am really excited to get that first call and this was such a disappointment. Oh well....one day that phone will ring and there will be a child needing to be placed and I will be able to say yes to the right one.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Diaper deal

I have decided to cloth diaper my foster children not only to save me money in the long run but also because I am thinking of my carbon footprint on the world and I want to do my part.  Another reason to cloth diaper is because of how cute they are.....hello, have you seen the cloth diapers you can get??  I am going to write a post about cloth diapering another day but this post is about why I still have to buy regular diapers and the deal I got last night!!

I have been thinking about the use of cloth diapers and visits with bios.  Will the bios support the cloth diaper decision and will they be okay with changing cloth diapers during visits?  I don't want to the bios throwing away a cloth diaper (they are not cheap!!!) so I have decided that I am going to have disposable diapers to use during visits with bios.  I had not planned on buying any diapers till I have a baby in the house and know what size diapers I need....until yesterday!!

I was on facebook yesterday and saw that there were a few people posting about the great diaper deal they got with Pampers diapers.  I didn't really think much of it until a friend of mine posted the details.  Dollar General had a sale where they were offering any size package of Pampers diapers for $9.  In the ad it specifically states that it is any count and any size.  Well, a bunch of mama's went to Walmart and Target because they price match.  I had just been at Target yesterday and saw that they had a Pampers deal that if you buy two boxes of diapers for $24.95 each, they give you a $15 Target gift card.  Well I called my Target store and asked if they would price match and they said yes.  Then I get to the store and they agreed to let me buy 4 boxes of diapers so I could get two of the gift cards.  I spent $9 each on four boxes of diapers and paid $36.36.  Then I got $30 in Target gift cards!!  Total, I paid $1.59 each box of diapers!!!  That's a deal I couldn't pass up!!!  


I decided to buy the diapers in sizes 2 and 3 and figured if I need different sizes, I can just exchange them.  

Now I am all set on diapers for the baby for the whole time the baby is in diapers.....or the whole time a few babies are with me!!!  432 diapers and about 50 cloth diapers.....yeah, I'm all set :)

So you use cloth or disposables on your foster children?  Why or why not?  How did the bios react?

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Patients

I have been MIA for awhile now and there is a reason for it.....I was sitting here waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for my background check to come back.  I was getting really frustrated waiting so long and everyone around me kept telling me to be patient.  The patients has finally paid off and yesterday when I called my agency, I found out my background check has finally come through and I am now on the list!!  Holy talidos people.....I could get a phone call at anytime for a placement!!

I got really frustrated and took all of the baby stuff that was sitting all over the house and put it in storage and in closets.  I still have the crib up of course but I just got tired of seeing the baby swing and bassinet sitting around waiting for a baby to use them.  Secretly I thought that if I would put the stuff away, I would get the call I have been waiting for but....nope...didn't work!!!

I am going to leave the stuff where it is until I actually get a phone call and when that call comes, I will bring out the baby stuff that is hidden in every closet and stuffed into my storage.  I have been making baby stuff and buying cloth diapers and my mamma made a beautiful blanket for me.  I need to take a picture of the blanket to show you all....it is gorgeous!!!  I also need to show you guys the bibs I made, I am so happy with how they turned out.

So now the wait for THE phone call begins.  I am finishing a semester in school and have a lot going on right now so I don't mind if I have to wait a little bit but hopefully we will get a little munchkin into our home soon.

Please send some good baby vibes my way :)